Drastic
by cdaffre
Summary: Bella is facing hard times without her love Edward with her. and cant take life without him anymore and is about to do something Drastic to find release to her emptyness the only way she knows how. In bellas/edwards POV
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 enjoy sorry its so small :)

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I lay in bed, Speechless. Alone. Empty, with _his_ voice lingering in my mind. Like it does everyday

All my hope and happiness is pretty much gone. All I have left is family and my best friend. Jacob Black…. Well use to be best friend.

I haven't seen him in a while, he's been off and he left La Push 9 months ago, to "clear" this mind, but I think he just couldn't take the loss of his father, Billy Black.

We are kinda in the same boat, that way, losing things that mean the most to us.

I wish I could just leave, like _he_ did, disappear, live in a hole or under a rock for the rest if my life and not care who I hurt doing it. But sadly I'm not selfish like that. I couldn't leave Charlie; I don't know how he lived before I moved in with him. He can't even cook eggs. And Renee is already going mad, with me living forks. To her its like I'm across the world. Forks _did_ have a plus side. But that plus side left me here.

I look my window, as the wild blows my curtains. I always leave it open hoping, pleading, waiting for him to come back.  
To jump threw that window. To lay with me, to sing me to sleep with the lullaby he wrote me. I can almost remember it.

But its not the same, it will never be the same.

Im doing it again! … I need to forget. But I don't want too. but I cant keep feeling like this! Im going crazy, I need to move on. I need to become selfish and I need to do something drastic.

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s**orry guys that its short im sorry!**

**im just getting my ideas flowing and the next chapter should be up very soon!**

**THANKS FOR READING (L)**

please rewiew thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up that morning, ready, ready to become someone new.

Although I would be saying goodbye to everyone I loved here in forks, I just couldn't take it anymore, absence of him is everywhere I look, and the pain is the only reminder that he was real, that it all was.

And I hate seeing Charlie like this too, I see the pain in his eyes when he has to rescue me from my nightmares and I cant keep hurting him. And he's already asked if it would help to go live with Renee.

I take my shower, and change my clothes for the day. I go to my closet to retain my suitcase from my top shelf. My suitcase is covers with junk and I have to full my suitcase with all my might just to get it down. As I fall onto the floor from my battle, half of my books in that shelf fall onto the floor just like I did. And one book that grabs my eye is my scrapbook… my scrapbook! I flip to the pictures of me and _him, _its still there! He didn't take it, I trace his face with my fingers, Oh his beautiful face, his golden eyes and his golden locks…

Wait! What am I doing! I'm moving on, yup new me, new life that doesn't include _him_. I get up and throw the book back into my closet only taking my suitcase. I put all of my belongings into my bag. Everything but that book, since _he_ doesn't belong to me anymore, that book doesn't either.

As I go down stairs I see Charlie at the table, reading the newspaper and drinking his coffee. I put on a smile, as this will be my last moments with him.

" Hey dad! " I say as I sit across from him at the table.

" Hey bell... you seem different today, your smiling, I like that " he said with I big grin on his face " ya I guess I'm just ready to face the world today" " well I guess that's good to hear " Charlie say as he looks at the clock. " I gotta go bell. I'm running late for work, have a good day at school "he smiles and kisses me on the forehead.

" Dad..? " "Ya Bella?" he says as he puts on his jacket. " I Love you...and thanks for everything " I say as I try to hold back tears. " Bella... I Love you too and no _thank you_ for everything... I'm so happy to have u in my life. " He smiles and goodbye and leaves for work.

As soon I hear his truck gone. I take some paper and begin to write my note for Charlie.

_Dear dad _

_I love u. and always will_

_But I just cant take it anymore the pain is killing me and forks is not helping. So im leaving, im not going to mom's im going to go find my self. Please understand that this is for the best and that I will be fine I can take care of my self im 18, for the past year I have been taking care of the both of us, I just hope u can make yourself dinner without burning down the kitchen :) and ill call u every night same with mom _

_Im fine, ill be fine please don't worry and don't call mom freaking out I already emailed her so she knows. Im not leaving forever ill be back _

_Love u always _

_Bella _

I leave the note on the table and I pick up my bag from the top of the stairs. Stand at the door, I take it in one last time. I walk out the get in my car and drive, drive to find my me.


End file.
